Monday, May 9, 2016



Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

I am walking into adulthood. I have worries for my future. I want to settle down with a nice job, a comfortable house, a dream car and a family of my own. But I am still clueless. Sometimes I feel helpless. I have my fears. All I seek at the moment is some understanding and support. Understanding that even though I may look like I don’t care, I actually care. I actually try. I need support that even though it is hard in the beginning, I can do this. I will survive this.

Don’t rush me, I might give up. I might break. Support me. Believe in me. Give me time. Give me trust. Believe that I will pass all the hurdles. I am starting to run. I might fall. You don’t have to pick me up. Just tell me that I CAN get up. Then, I WILL get up. I WILL run and I WILL get to the point you wish I should be.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016



Assalamualaikum w.b t,

Along. I am called that way by people closest to me. In our community, Along is a nickname usually given to firstborns.

Being firstborns come with responsibilities. My head is always filled with those responsibilities. Especially now that I am in my twenties, the responsibilities seemed to have increased. I am graduating soon. Though my parents never really express their expectations, I always knew that they had their expectations of what I could achieve.  
Firstborns are always the one to set the bars for the younger siblings. Achieve or not, the firstborns will go through it first. There are other responsibilities of firstborns - being second parent to the younger siblings. I don't know about others but that is what I have been doing in these past few years.

I am naturally protective. I am very concerned about my younger siblings's friends and activities. Sometimes I felt that I am being a little nosy but I have been doing that for years now. If my younger siblings are in some kind of trouble, I would make sure to at least reduce the magnitude of trouble before the issue reach our parents.

With things going on these days, my fear of taking up responsibilities as a parent is increasing. I know my younger siblings are growing up, they are teens now. But I can't help but to worry. I talk to them. They listened, yes. But at some point, they do it all over again. Call me a worrywart but hey, in this age, you don't know what can happen. Anything is possible.

My younger siblings are my responsibility to protect and unless I am sure they are safe and sound to conduct themselves where ever they are, I don't think I will be able to peacefully settle down. 

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

International Women's Day


Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

I grew up in a society where women are deemed to be subordinates of men. In my society, women are supposed to fit in their roles as mothers and wives. In some places, true existence of women are to be married, bear children and be her husband’s wife. Higher educations are not much encouraged in women. Thankfully, women in the society I grew up in are not denied with their rights to education. I am completing my degree and most of my classmates are women. Though so, there are always words like, “no matter how highly educated women are, they will always belong to the kitchen.” As I grew up, I never really care about these ‘gender roles’. However, when I seriously joined debate four years ago, the issues we debated on really opened my eyes. I went to Gender debate for a few times whilst being a part of UniSZA debate team. As the name suggested, gender equality, women’s rights and women empowerment issues are debated extensively during the competitions. Being particularly passionate when debatiing about women's right and empowerment, I realized – “Maybe I am a feminist.”

Sure enough, many would still misunderstand feminism as a movement to spread hate on men and fight on the ideas that women can do what men can and thus, women should be treated equally or perhaps superior than men. Feminism is not about that. The ideology of feminism is to believe that both genders, men and women should have equal opportunities and rights in four dominating aspects : education, economy, politics and society. Feminists believe that women and men are created different. Biologically, there are things women can do that men cannot. Those are the natural gender roles that none of us should controvert. Yes, there is no denial that men and women are not created equal and never they will be equal in all sense. Men are physically stronger than women but I’ve never seen a man who can naturally undergo the painful process of giving birth. The equal chances that feminists are striving for are in terms of economy, education, politics and social. The four dominating aspects that most women's rights are being denied in many countries.

It is a fact that for so many years, women are denied from their rights to go to schools, to voice their opinions in politics, to equally stand a chance in economic growth and to be equally respected in society. Realizing that these denials of rights are a form of oppression, feminist movements started. Women begin to demand for equality though many still misunderstood. It is imperative to understand the definition of feminists before judging and condemning.  Like it or not, women are a half of the population in any countries. It is good to see how much opportunities are given to women these days, we can see more women are involved in various fields. There are women who became doctors, engineers, architects, teachers, and even prime ministers. However, it is still heartbreaking to see in some third world countries, women are still being oppressed. We know about Malala Yousafzai who was shot for wanting to go to school. In some Arab countries, women are not allowed to take driving license and go to work. Not only that, in some other places, women are not allowed to vote. Their rights as a part of the society are being denied and for so many years, they grow up with that kind of beliefs. Up to the point that some women are against the empowerment of women since it is going against the social norms whatsoever. 

In many years I casually spoke about feminism with my friends, I’ve always heard that – “men are created as leaders to women, defying that is defying what God had created.” Though I have said this so many times before, some of my friends are still misunderstanding the ideology that feminists brought upon the society. We are not demanding for women to be leaders. We are not demanding for men to be our subordinates. We are not demanding for men to step down and let women rule. What we are demanding are equal chances. If boys are allowed to go to school, girls should be allowed with the same opportunity. If men are allowed in politics, then women should also be allowed to do so. If you say giving equal chances to women are defying what God has created for us, think again. In the days of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), women are given those rights for education, economy, social and politics. Prophet’s wife, Siti Khadijah is a successful businesswoman, she supported her husband, become a wonderful wife to him but at the same time she is also enhancing the economy of her society. Siti Aisyah is another wife of our Prophet Muhammad’s. She is intellectually brilliant. She memorized thousands of hadith and contributed to the recording of the hadiths. Khaulah binti Azur and Nusaibah binti Ka’ab went to war and fought alongside their husbands and sons to protect Islam from its enemies.
Equality is not giving the same thing to everyone. It is giving what they deserve. Women deserve to be involved in society as much as men. They should not be hiding in the kitchen all day. I am not saying being a housemaker is an oppression to women. Some educated women choose to be housewives and I respect these women. I believe that both men and women should be treated as what they are. They should be allowed to achieve what they want in life. They should be encouraged to contribute in the overall growth of the society.  We are all unique. We should be celebrated and appreciated for what we are and what we want to become.Though men and women will never be equally same in all aspects, they should be viewed as a synergy instead of two opposing units. The world would be a better place is yin (women) and yang (men) are balanced. Never let yourself be defined by your gender. Never let your potentials be limited by your gender. Be proud your true self. Be you. Happy International Women's Day. :)

Thursday, February 25, 2016



Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

Last night, I found the film online while downloading ‘Deadpool’, as requested by my youngest brother. Since I enjoyed the book, I can’t help but to download ‘Room’ and watch the movie the very moment the download completed. The movie was released on 4th September 2015, directed by Lenny Abrahamson. The 2 hours length movie gained 8.3/10 rating from IMDb, 95% from Rotten Tomatoes and 86% from Metacritic.

‘Room’ was written by Emma Donoghue and it is a different kind of story. It is not a typical romance, thriller or heroic journey. It is an overwhelming journey of discovering the world, patching up relationships, finding one self and becoming an adult. It is an incredible story of a boy named Jack and his Ma. Jack is a brilliant boy who thinks a leap further than boys of his age though he had never seen the world. The story begins on the day Jack turned five, he tells us how he is living in ‘Room’, a 10 x 10 shed in which Jack and his Ma are held confined by Old Nick. 

Ma was actually abducted when she was 17 and she was held in ‘Room’ since. Two years after the abduction and constant rape, she had Jack. Jack had never set foot outside ‘Room’ or seen the world, apart from seeing the blue sky or the snow fallen on the skylight of ‘Room’. Ma told him that everything inside ‘Room’ is real and the outside is not. He learned various things from his Ma’s stories, TV and books that Ma read to him. After he turned five, Jack keeps on asking more questions and Ma realized that they need to escape. Jack is growing up and he needed more space and his world should be more than just in the ‘Room’. They managed to escape but the life in ‘world’ is not easy for Jack and neither it is for Ma. 

The first time I picked up the book (it was borrowed), I couldn’t stop reading it. I finished ‘Room’ in one go and decided to visit the pages again. The story sticks in my head and I decided to buy a copy for myself - which I treasure dearly. Perhaps I’ve read over ‘Room’ more than 20 times but I still find the journey that Jack and Ma had inspiring and overwhelming. The film was exactly how I imagined it to be. The screenplay was written  by the author herself so the details that are mentioned in the book are included in the film. (I still have a little grudge on how some important details in Harry Potter books are neglected in the films and some unnecessary scenes are added). Though the movie is great in essence, I’m afraid the pace of the film is a little slow and thus, those who have never read the book would probably find it boring. The colours and lighting of the first half of the film is dark and dull, which is perfect because it shows the reality of being confined in 10x10 shed. The general pace of the story is a little slow but the performances of the actors balanced the pace and made us indulge in the subtle growth of the characters' emotions.

As I read the book, I wondered who could portray Jack and Ma. The two characters seem so simple but there are underlying complexities of emotions and internal struggle within both characters. Ma is a strong willed young woman who would do anything to keep her son safe. Ma seems strong on the outside but being a victim of abduction, she is emotionally depressed and traumatized. Upon returning to her home, she found out that her parents are divorced after she was kidnapped. Her life had changed tremendously after the kidnapping, the home she returned to was not the same home when she left, her friends are leading a perfectly normal life when she missed seven years of her youth and the media are paying too much attention to her and keeps on pressing on the point that she raised her son in a confined room which led her son to be deprived in so many ways. The emotional shock and pressure led her to attempting suicide. 

Jack on the other hand is a smart five year old boy. He enjoys reading and is very curious of everything around him. He loves asking questions and listening to Ma’s stories. Jack showed bravery when he helped to save his mother from Old Nick. After he was saved from ‘Room’, Jack was astonished by the ‘world’ that he had never seen before. He was scared of people and the enormous space before him. Lights and sounds around him scared him. So, he seeks comfort in the small wardrobe of his mother’s old room. He hides behind his Ma and speaks to no one but his Ma. Even when his grandmother asked him questions, he would whisper to Ma, and Ma would answer the questions for him.  After Ma’s attempted suicide, Jack was left to the care of his grandmother and her new partner, Leo.  His grandmother’s warmth helped him to open up more to people. Jack finds comfort talking to his grandmother and helping her with the chores, like he did with Ma in the ‘Room’. He even went out of the house and helped his grandmother to buy groceries. He warmly greets the neighbor and even played with Aaron, a boy of his age. 

The actors, Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay who played Ma and Jack are critically acclaimed for their performances in ‘Room’. ‘Room’ may not collected as much as other mainstream movies packed with action and romance but ‘Room’ is a special film that makes you think of life, reflect how you have led your life and probably question the true meaning of bonds, acceptance and living life to the fullest. ‘Room’ took me to such an incredible journey and perhaps not just anyone would find ‘Room’ enjoyable but it is a movie worth the watch.

Saturday, January 17, 2015



Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

I know this come a bit too late but, "Happy New Year !!" *clap2*

hahaha. hurm *clear throats*

Anyway, before I stray further, here's the first post of 2015 *YAY*. Since the past few weeks, I have been thinking on what issue I want to dedicate my first post of 2015 to. At first, I thought, maybe I should write about my daddy's birthday on 6th January (which was also got7's leader : JB's birthday) But, unfortunately, on the date, I had my final examination. T.T. Anyway, I sent a cute video and picture of birthday wish which he scolded me for being cheesy for. *duh* 

Then, came 10th January, which was his birthday. A date that meant so much for me last year but well, idgaf now. But Happy Birthday anyway. As days pass, we come to this date today, 16th January : One year anniversary of GOT7's debut. *jump2*


Recently, those videos of Malay girls being hugged by K-Pop star, B14A had become viral and so many people gave their 20 cents on this issue. But first, let me be clear, I do listen to KPOP songs but, a true fanatic kpopper? Nope. I do fan-girling over those kpop star but not to the extent of collecting all their cds or pasting their posters on my bedroom walls. (I am a sane kpop fan after all). Anyway, what I meant to say was, I am not supporting the 'hugging' acts but people are being biased and double standard here. What happened to those girls are wrong but why blame the whole kpop fans society here? What about the Malay actors and actresses who are hugging each other on TV everyday? Aren't they guilty too? Think about it for a second. 

Anyway, I love listening to various genres of music. I listen to Malay songs (some of it), I love Maroon 5, Britney Spears, Ciara and I love Blue and N'sync. I even listen to hindi songs, japanese songs, thai songs and Led Zappelin. Starting last year, I fell in love with this new boy group of kpop called GOT7. I started following about this group after I saw JB and Jr on Dream High 2. Before they debuted as GOT7, they debuted as Project JJ, with the song 'Bounce' which was really catchy and starting from that pointon, I started following them and after GOT7 debuted on 16th January 2014 with the song 'Girls Girls', I started following them. 
Honestly, I love the groups under JYP and YG, like 2PM, 4min, BigBang and 2ne1. I don't really prefer other groups under SM though sometimes I do listen to SuJu, DBSK and FT Island. Anyway, why I love GOT7? Here's why.

1) Their songs are catchy and playful which suits their age.(like Yugyeom once said in an interview, their style is mainly hip-hop, b-boy + martial arts and songs that are sometimes playful like a boy and mature like a man which reflects their average age : 21yo - an age of a teenage boy moving on to adulthood)

2) Their dance moves are mostly light, cute and easy to follow (a few steps in 'Stop it' and 'Girls Girls' are cute and easy to follow ). And of course, like their sunbaenim, 2PM, these kids also have some acrobatic moves and flying tricks which are really cooooooll !

3) The members of GOT7 are aged 21& 22 (this year : Mark is the eldest - 22yo) So, they are still playful and quite childish but sometimes they can be really hot and sexy (like Jackson) - *suddenly remembered Jackson once said : "uhm.. I'm wild and sexy"* --- He REALLY is !! 

4) They are called international dream team (because they have 3 non-korean members :Mark, Jackson and Bambam). They are also very well known in Europe, Japan and SE Asia within even though they have only debuted for a year, which is quite a good achievement for them.

5) Each members have their own charms and it is never boring to watch them. They have skills, potential,charisma, charms and that personality that can push them further in this industry. They are really funny during TV appearances and when I watched their dance practice and 'Real GOT7', I never failed to laugh my ass off and be charmed by these boys. 

Anyway, to those who haven't heard of GOT7, let me introduce the members of GOT7 :

1) Im Jae Bum (6 January 1994) - JB 

- Position : Leader, Vocal
- Nickname : Jaebonggi, Father (he likes to call the other members 'kids')
- Education : Geonguk University
- Height/ Weight : 179cm/66kg
-Nationality : Korean
- Trivia: JB actually debuted as an actor in Dream High 2 (2012) before he debuted with Jr in JJ Project.
JB became a JYP trainee in 2009 after winning 1st place at a JYP Open Audition, which he tied with Jr. in
Because of his calmness, placid facial expressions, he can sometimes appear as “cold” or “tough” to strangers. He is often being teased by other members when he's being too fatherly and caring. Though so, other members respect and listens to him because of his charismatic leader charm. He admits that it is hard for him to act cute and say cheesy stuffs. JB shares one bed with Youngjae in their dorm. JB is also fluent in Japanese and English.

2) Park Jin Young (22 September 1994) - Junior (He shares the name as the president of JYP Ent.)

- Position : Lead Vocalist
- Nickname : Jiroungi and mother
- Education : Kyunggi High School
- Height/ Weight : 178cm / 63 kg
- Nationality : Korean
- Trivia :  Jr has his own room in the dorm, which the other members claimed that his room is the messiest. He likes to eat meat, hamburger and pizza. JB thinks that he resembles actors Yoo Seung Ho and Kim Soo Hyun a bit but most of the time, people said that he looks a lot like his sunbae, Taecyeon of 2PM, especially when he smiles. Jr often claims himself to be the king of aegyo (acting cute) in the group, although other members think BamBam is better at it. Jr is the slowest member of GOT7 because he takes the longest time to get ready as he likes to do everything slowly and with ease. Jr's specialty is dancing and he personally choreographed the dance moves of the song "Follow Me".

3)  Choi Young Jae (17 September 1996) - Youngjae

- Position : Main Vocal
- Education : Seoul Korea Arts High School
- Height/Weight : 175cm/59kg
-Nationality : Korean
- Trivia : Youngjae was trained only for 8 months before GOT7 debuted. JYP was attracted by Joungjae's unique voice and strong vocals. Youngjae likes to play football and hates cucumber because the cucumbers made him feels like throwing up. Nichkhun of 2PM thinks that Youngjae is the best looking face in GOT7 and he has the best eye smile, though Jr thinks otherwise. Out of the seven membersof GOT7, Youngjae sleeps the most and he is the most difficult person to wake up every morning.
4) Kim Yu Gyeom (17 November 1997) - Yu Gyeom

- Position : Vocalist, Lead Dancer, Maknae
- Education: Hamlim Arts High School - Majoring in street dance
- Height/ Weight : 180cm/ 64kg
- Nationality : Korean
- Trivia : Yugyeom is said to be the most pure and innocent member of the group because of his youthful baby face. Though so, he is always being mistaken as the eldest because of his height & mature and calm personality. But once he's started, he can be really whacky and playful. Yugyeom shares the same room as another maknae of the group, Bambam.Yugyeom won 2nd place at the Adrenaline House Dance Battle back in 2011 and he specialized in krumping,house dance and popping.

5) Khumpimok Buwakul (2 May 1997) - Bambam

- Position : Lead Rapper, Vocal, Maknae
- Education : Pramoch Wittaya Ramindra School
- Height/ Weight : 170cm/52kg
- Nationality : Thailand
- Trivia : Bambam's mother is Rain's fan and she opened up a Korean Restaurant in Thailand, because of Rain. Bambam is a talented rapper. He can rap in Thai, Korean and English. He also loves to dance and his siblings : Baby, Bank and Beer are very well known dancers in Bangkok. Before debuting as a singer, Bambam has appeared in a few CF in Thailand.  He won 1st place in a “Rain Cover Dance” competition in Thailand back in 2007. He also won 2nd place in a “LG Entertainer” competition in Thailand in 2010. Bambam is good friends with f(x)’s Amber, whom he first met during a friendly badminton game. Bambam is agreed to be the cutest member of GOT7 and he performs the best fan service.

6) Tuan Yi En (4 September 1993) - Mark 

- Position: Lead Rapper, Vocal
- Education : Arcadia High School
- Height/ Weight : 175cm/ 59kg
- Nationality : Taiwanese (But he was raised in Los Angeles, United States)
- Trivia : Mark is 100% Chinese, his Cantonese and English are very fluent because he grew up in United States. He knows a little Portuguese as he lived in Brazil and Paraguay for a little while during his childhood. Mark is quiet and shy and because of his cute baby face, most people think that JB is the eldest in the group, instead of Mark. He is also known as the 'Flying Member' as he always perform the acrobatic flying tricks during their performances. Mark is living in the same room as Jackson and they usually use Cantonese and English to converse with each other. Mark's husky and manly voice is his main keypoint to melt fan's heart. Mark's father, owned a Twitter account (known as Papa Tuan) which he used to troll Mark's fan and anti fans. One of Papa Tuan's famous troll is when a fan asked for Mark's hand in marriage and Papa Tuan replied : "Without hands, how is he going to hold the mic and sing." *lol*

7) Wang Ka Yee (28 March 1994) - Jackson *my fav member ! Kyaaaa ~~*

-Position : Rapper,Vocal, Wild and Sexy Image
- Education : American International School, Hong Kong
- Height/ Weight : 174cm/63kg
- Nationality : Hong Kong
- Trivia :  Like Mark, Jackson is a 100% Chinese but he is multi lingual and very fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, French, and English. He is known for his rapping and beatboxing skills. Jackson can rap in English, Korean, Cantonese and Mandarin. Jackson claims to be the sexiest and wildest member of GOT7. He is also the most outgoing and sassiest member. He got the nickname 'Neighbourhood Idiot' because of his nature of  acting and saying whatever comes first in his mind. Because of that, he is being considered as the funniest member although he didn't meant to be funny at the time. Jackson was a member of the Fencing National Team in Hong Kong, where he won 1st place in the Asia Junior and Cadet Fencing Championship in 201. Jackson's father (Wang Rui Ji) was a former coach of Hong Kong National Fencing Team while his mother, Zhou Ping is the gold medalist for World Gymnastics Championship. Influenced by his father, Jackson started fencing at the age of 10 but he had always loved practicing hip hop dance moves, rapping and beatboxing.