Assalamualaikum w.b t,
Along. I am called that way by people closest to me. In our community, Along is a nickname usually given to firstborns.
Being firstborns come with responsibilities. My head is always filled with those responsibilities. Especially now that I am in my twenties, the responsibilities seemed to have increased. I am graduating soon. Though my parents never really express their expectations, I always knew that they had their expectations of what I could achieve.
Firstborns are always the one to set the bars for the younger siblings. Achieve or not, the firstborns will go through it first. There are other responsibilities of firstborns - being second parent to the younger siblings. I don't know about others but that is what I have been doing in these past few years.
I am naturally protective. I am very concerned about my younger siblings's friends and activities. Sometimes I felt that I am being a little nosy but I have been doing that for years now. If my younger siblings are in some kind of trouble, I would make sure to at least reduce the magnitude of trouble before the issue reach our parents.
With things going on these days, my fear of taking up responsibilities as a parent is increasing. I know my younger siblings are growing up, they are teens now. But I can't help but to worry. I talk to them. They listened, yes. But at some point, they do it all over again. Call me a worrywart but hey, in this age, you don't know what can happen. Anything is possible.
My younger siblings are my responsibility to protect and unless I am sure they are safe and sound to conduct themselves where ever they are, I don't think I will be able to peacefully settle down.